Following on from the previous post it seems only fair to let us hear from Max himself, here singing one of his own songs. If dates from 1992 but it sounds more like 1932.

The title is difficult to translate. I realise swine is old fashioned in English, but I think it suits the retro style of the song. Bitch is too harsh, and “No-one ever calls me” (suggested on Wikipedia) is a bit too bland.


Kein Schwein ruft mich an
Keine Sau interessiert sich für mich
Solange ich hier wohn’
ist es fast wie Hohn
schweigt das Telefon
Kein Schwein ruft mich an
Keine Sau interessiert sich für mich
Und ich frage mich,
denkt gelegentlich
jemand mal an mich?
Den Zustand find’ ich höchst fatal
für heut’ geh’ Zeiten nicht normal
wo jeder nur darüber klagt
das Telefon an Nerven nagt
Ich traue mich kaum mehr aus der Tür,
denn stets hab’ ich vermutet,
dass, kaum dass ich das Haus verlass’
es klingelt oder tutet.
Vielleicht, dass manche mich
im Land der Dänen wähnen.
Oder fern von hier,
wo die Hyänen gähnen.
Denn... Kein Schwein ruft mich an.
Keine Sau interessiert sich für mich.
Doch liegt es nicht an mir,
ich zahle monatlich die Telefongebühr.
Das war für mich kein Zustand mehr
Es musste eine Lösung her!
Das war für mich sofort
der Anrufbeantworter
Und als ich dann nach Hause kam,
war ich vor Glück und Freude lahm
Es blinkt mir froh der Apparat
dass jemand angerufen hat
Die süße Stimme einer Frau
verrät mir und erzählt:
“Verzeihen Sie mein werter Herr,
ich habe mich verwählt.”

Not one swine rings me up
Not one cow is interested in me
As long as I’ve lived here
it’s almost as if
the silent telephone is mocking me
Not one swine rings me up
Not one cow is interested in me
And I ask myself
does someone else
think of me from time to time?

The condition I find myself in is most disastrous
because today's times are not normal
where everyone just complains about it
the phone gnaws at my nerves
I hardly dare to step out of the door
because I always suspect
that as soon as I leave the house
it rings or toots

Maybe some people believe me to be
in the land of the Danes
Or far from here
Where hyenas yawn

Because… Not one swine rings me up
Not one cow is interested in me
Though it’s not my fault
I pay my monthly telephone bill

I couldn’t stand my condition anymore
A solution was needed urgently
It came to me that instant
the answering machine
And when I got home
I was weak with happiness and joy
The phone blinked happily at me
that somebody had called me

The sweet voice of a woman
Revealed itself to me and explained:
“I beg your pardon my dear man,
I’ve dialed the wrong number."



Ich + Ich have been inactive since 2010 and Adel Tawil has started a solo career. Meanwhile Annette Humpe has returned to writing and production for other artists. Perhaps her most notable recent project has been writing two albums for Max Raabe.

Raabe is an eccentric character and his style is something of a throwback to the German popular music of the 1920s and 1930s, not least that of the Comedian Harmonists. He has been a beloved character in Germany for many years, but the two albums with Humpe are by far his most successful to date, both reaching the top 3 of the national charts. “Langsam” is from “Für Frauen ist das kein Problem” (2013). I think Humpe does a great job of writing in a different style, though sometimes the Palast Orchester (Palace Orchestra) who usually accompany Raabe are missed. I recommend this album to German learners as the lyrics are relatively easy to understand and they are clearly sung by Raabe.

NB This song is not available on YouTube, so I have had a go at singing it myself. This is my first attempt at singing in German.

So there you have it, four songs from four different decades. And here the story ends, at least for now…


Der Mond geht auf, mhhh, mhhh,
Ganz langsam.
Er nimmt seinen Lauf, mhhh, mhhh,
Ganz langsam.

Es weht ein warmer Sommerwind,
Die Wolken ziehen,
Wir beide sind… allein.

Du bist bei mir,
Es ist ganz still,
Ich weiß genau,
Was ich jetzt will… mhhh

Ich komm auf dich zu, mhhh, mhhh,
Ganz langsam.
Ich weiß, was ich tu, mhhh, mhhh,
Ganz langsam.

Manchmal geht's am Tage,
Manchmal in der Nacht, mhhh,
Manchmal kann es schnell gehen,
Bei mir geht es ganz sacht, mhhh,
Nimm Dich in Acht

The moon rises, mhhh, mhhh,
So slowly.
He takes his course, mhhh, mhhh,
So slowly.

A warmer summer breeze blows,
The clouds drift by,
We are… alone.

You’re with me,
It's so quiet,
I know exactly,
What I want now… mhhh
I go up to you, mhhh, mhhh,
So slowly.
I know what I'm doing, mhhh, mhhh,
So slowly.
Sometimes it happens by day,
Sometimes at night, mhhh,
Sometimes it can go fast,
With me it happens so gently, mhhh,
Take care of yourself


C – Ab – G – C
C – Ab – G – C
F – Fm – C – C7
F – Fm – C/G – G