FANTASY EUROVISION SONG CONTEST 1974

EUROPEAN POP LYRICS

This year it’s the fiftieth anniversary of ABBA’s famous win at Eurovision. For my fantasy version I’ve retained ABBA and the other two acts who placed in the top three. However, there are plenty of new acts as well as some unexpected countries.

01: United Kingdom: Queen – Killer Queen

Eurovision and glam rock seems like a natural combination in retrospect, so I’ve invited Queen to start the party.

02: France: Dani – La Vie à 25 ans

Dani was one of the coolest yé-yé girls in the 1960s. In 1974 she was due to perform this song at Eurovision, but France withdrew from the contest when President Pompidou died. To make up for this she was scheduled to perform in 1975, singing the Serge Gainsbourg song “Comme un boomerang”. However, it was banned for being too raunchy and she missed out again. Dani died in 2022, having never performed at Eurovision.

03: West Germany: Udo Lindenberg – Jonny Controlletti

Moving away from their customary schlager, Germany send in Udo Lindenberg, who was the first person to really sell rock records singing in German.

04: Spain: Morena Y Clara – No Llores Mas

The actual Spanish entry this year (by Peret) had a bit of a flamenco flavour, but this track is much cooler. In 1976 Morena y Clara entered the selection contest to represent Spain at Eurovision, but they weren’t chosen. After this indignity they faded from view.

05: Italy: Gigliola Cinquetti – Si

This is from the actual contest and it finished second. Cinquetti had already won Eurovision, back in 1964 aged just 16. This song was banned in her home country as people though it might influence a referendum on divorce.

06: Ireland: Horslips – Dearg Doom

Folk rock was also popular at this time, so it would have been cool if the Irish had sent in Horslips. NB The original single release was in 1973.

07: East Germany: Nina Hagen – Du hast den Farbfilm vergessen

This year I’ve spiced things up by having both East and West Germany compete. Hagen would get a lot wilder later on, but here she is reasonably Eurovision friendly.

08: Netherlands: Mouth & MacNeal – I See a Star

From the original contest. They were favourites to win but ended up in third place.

09: Portugal: Raul Seixas – Gita

The Portuguese recruit the Brazilian singer Raul Seixas. He was into mysticism at this time, and the title is a reference to Hinduism. Plus, he’s wearing a Santa outfit!

10: Andorra: Jeanette – Porque te vas

Here Jeanette represents Andorra (well, I had to get another Spanish language song into the contest somehow). This Eurovision friendly song could give ABBA a run for their money.

11: Belgium: Michel Polnareff – Tibili

Here the legendary Polnareff represents Belgium. He’s rocking that glam look and singing Eurovision friendly gibberish lyrics won’t harm his chances.

12: Poland: Anna Jantar – Tyle słońca w całym mieście

Poland must have crept under the iron curtain when in I let East Germany in. The title translates as ‘So Much Sun in the Whole City’.

13: Greece: Demis Roussos – Forever & Forever

This was the first year that Greece took part in the contest. Here they send in Roussos, already an international star. NB The song was originally released in 1973.

14: Sweden: ABBA – Waterloo

It seems natural to end with ABBA. Can they win both the real and fantasy contests?

NB Seven of these artists have previously featured on this blog and translations of four of the songs are available (in red).

LA MACHINE by DANI

FRENCH POP LYRICS

With her short dark hair Dani had an image that looks much more contemporary than that of most of her yé-yé rivals. The brutal futurism of this track (from her ‘Scopitone’ EP released in 1967) also sounds strikingly modern.
Dani went on to have a much bigger hit in 1968 with the rather MOR ‘Papa vient d’épouser la bonne’. After that she concentrated on acting, and in 1973 she appeared in Truffaut’s ‘Night for Day’. In 1974 she was due to represent France at Eurovision, but her country withdrew from the contest when President Pompidou died.

LA MACHINE

Je me suis achetée une machine
Une machine qui ne fabrique rien
Chaque fois que j'y mets 20 centimes
Elle me repond: "merci bien"

Il y a des boutons partout
Moi les boutons ça me rend dingue
Je les appuie tous d'un coup
ça fait plus de bruit qu'un flingue

Je me suis achetée une machine
Une machine à tuer l'ennuie
Mais la seule chose qui m'ennuie
C'est qu'elle me pique mes centimes

Je me suis achetée une machine
Une machine à reculer le temps
Je la mets dans ma cuisine
Pour les oeufs c'est epatant

Il y a des lumieres partout
Le néon moi ça me rend dingue
Je les allume tous d'un coup
Elle se reflete sur le zingue

Je me suis achetée une machine
Une machine un hydro-plexiglas 
Elle prevoit tout ce qu'on devine
Y'a un cerveau à rebus

Je me suis achetée une machine
Je ne peux plus m'en separer
Je me prends pour ma machine
Et je ne peux plus rever

Mais je sais qu'un jour viendra
C'est sûr je prendrais le zingue
Je la jetterai loin de moi
Pour ne plus voir ce bastringue

Je me suis achetée une machine
Une machine qui ne fabrique rien
Un gadget à 10 centimes 
Sans doute j'en avais besoin
THE MACHINE

I bought myself a machine
A machine that doesn't make anything
Every time I put in 20 cents
It replies: "Thank you very much"

There are buttons everywhere
The buttons drive me crazy
I press all of them at the same time
It makes more noise than a gun

I bought myself a machine
A machine that kills boredom
But the only thing that bothers me
Is that it pinches my pennies

I bought myself a machine
A machine to go back in time
I put it in my kitchen
It's super for (boiling) eggs (?!) 

There are lights everywhere
Neon drives me crazy
I switch them all on at the same time
They reflect on its zinc (console)

I bought myself a machine
A hydro-plexiglas machine (?)
It anticipates your every need
With a rebus brain

I bought myself a machine
I can't be apart from it anymore
I take myself away from my machine
And I can't dream anymore

But I know the day will come
For sure I will take the zinc (console)
I will throw it far away from myself
So I don't see this junk anymore

I bought myself a machine
A machine that produces nothing
A 10 cent gadget
There's no doubt that I needed it